If you know, you know

When we think about calling, it’s easy to focus on what God wants us to do—the jobs we take, the roles we step into, the ways we serve. But calling is not just about the work. It’s also about the people God places around us. Who we do life with is just as important as what we do.

There’s a phrase people often use—if you know, you know (IYKYK). 

A few years ago, my family and I started attending a new church. At the time, they offered small groups, and one in particular caught my attention—a group called Praying Women. I didn’t know many people in it—really just the host—and I later realized that many of the women already knew each other from being part of the group in the past. I was a little nervous walking in, unsure of what to expect.

But almost immediately, I felt right at home. Every woman was welcoming, kind, and genuine. I never once felt like “the new person.”

I was in a unique season, many of my friendships had shifted, grown, or changed over the years. I had really been praying for new friendships. It’s not always easy making new friends as an adult, but I found myself longing for something that was for me—my tribe, my group of people. That’s why saying yes to this group felt so important, even though I was stepping into something new. And what I discovered was far more than just a weekly gathering. It became a community—women who have shaped my life, strengthened my faith, and reminded me that calling is not something we carry alone.

From the beginning, this group became more than just a meeting on the calendar. It became a safe place—a circle of women where anything on our hearts could be shared. We laugh together, we encourage each other, we pray for one another, and we guard what is said. What’s shared in that room doesn’t leave it. There is nothing off-limits—whether it’s joy, grief, doubt, or struggle.

Early on in being part of this group—back when it was still Praying Wives—I had one of my first opportunities to really open up. It was the first time I had openly shared—or even spoken—about the miscarriages I had in 2024. Speaking those words out loud was terrifying, especially in a group I was still getting to know. But instead of hesitation or distance, I was met with immediate grace, prayer, and compassion. These women showed up for me in a way I’ll never forget. They carried me in a season when grief could have easily pushed me into isolation.

These women have become such a special part of my life. I know just how deeply they care because I’ve experienced it firsthand. I can say with confidence that if I ever had a need, I could call any one of them and they would show up for me—no hesitation. That kind of community is rare, and it’s a gift I don’t take for granted.

Even after the church’s small groups season ended, ours didn’t. We kept meeting. What started as Praying Wives naturally evolved into Praying Women, and now we gather monthly. Over time, the focus shifted—it became less about being a community of praying wives and more about being a community of praying women. That shift felt fitting. It wasn’t about a label, but about the heart of who we are: women committed to showing up for one another in prayer and in life.

I can’t share about this group without thanking Mrs. Everlyn. To know her is to love her. She graciously opens her home to us each month, creating a space where we can gather, be ourselves, and truly connect. Her heart for hospitality and for people is such a gift to all of us. And beyond that, there is a wisdom about her that I treasure deeply. So much of what she shares reminds me of my granny. 

And let me just say—we eat good. Whether it’s breakfast for dinner (one of my personal favorites), appetizers, soup and salad, or whatever theme we decide on, there is always food, laughter, and a sense of home when we’re together.

Later, in a completely different season, I found myself battling work-related anxiety. There was a stretch of nights where I would wake up with racing thoughts and a pounding heart, unable to fall back asleep. Early one morning, after hours of tossing and turning, I finally typed a message in our group chat: “I’m really struggling this morning. My heart is racing and I can’t seem to settle down. Please pray for me.” Within minutes, several of the ladies responded. They prayed over me, reminded me of truth, and spoke peace into my situation. Not long after, I was able to rest again. It may seem small, but in that moment it was everything. It reminded me that I don’t have to carry even my career-related stress alone.

Both of those moments—one marked by deep grief, the other by anxiety—taught me the same thing: God never calls us to walk alone. Just as He calls us to careers, to families, to seasons of service, He also calls us into community. Our callings are not just about what we do but about who we walk alongside as we do it. We need people who will celebrate with us in the highs, sit with us in the lows, and remind us of truth when our own hearts feel shaky.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” That’s exactly what this group has been for me—women who challenge me, encourage me, pray for me, and help me grow in every season, whether I’m walking through grief, navigating anxiety, or stepping into new areas of my calling.

And honestly, when I think about this group, that phrase—if you know, you know—comes to mind again. Because unless you’ve experienced this kind of community—the kind that prays with you, shows up for you, and walks with you through every season—it’s hard to fully put into words.

Maybe you already have your people, or maybe you’re still searching. Either way, I believe God desires for each of us to live in the kind of community where we can be honest about our struggles and celebrate our victories together. Finding your people might feel uncomfortable at first—like showing up to a group where you don’t know many faces—but it’s worth it. Community isn’t just about filling your calendar; it’s about filling your heart with the support and strength you need to keep walking in your calling.

My prayer for you is that you’d take one step closer toward finding (or deepening) your circle of people. Say yes to that small group invite. Text the friend you’ve been meaning to reconnect with. Be brave enough to walk into a room where you don’t know many faces yet.

IYKYK 🤍(and if you don’t yet… I pray you find it)

P.S. Community doesn’t usually happen all at once—it’s built one small step at a time. Take the next step, and trust God with the rest.

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